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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

“Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,” Says General

Posted by nytexan on August 14, 2007

The Onion:

Gen. McBrayer discusses how valuable homosexuals are, and why we must never put their lives at risk by allowing them in the military.

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Posted in Gays, Humor, military | 10 Comments »

An Administration Of Acronyms: Can You Spell F U B A R

Posted by bosskitty on August 8, 2007

That’s SIIC — or Is It?

By Al Kamen    Washington Post  Wednesday, August 8, 2007


The administration is engaged in a never-ending struggle over acronyms. Loop Fans may recall that senior officials a couple of years ago wanted to stop talking about a Global War on Terrorism, the GWOT or the WOT, and come up with something that would comport with the realities of the fight against international terrorism.

One leading option was to change the name to GSAVE — Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism.

But, in a White House meeting, President Bush ruled that it was still a war for him, and Rumsfeld went back to GWOT.

The administration is setting out to rename its closest Shiite ally, the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq (SCIRI).   They wanted to drop the word “revolution” from its name and to become known as the Supreme Islamic Iraqi Council (SIIC).     But SIIC, or “sick,” is not an appealing name for winners. It’s even more unfortunate since its leader, Abdul Aziz al-Hakim, is suffering from lung cancer.     One possibility under consideration is calling it the Supreme Council of Iraq — SCI, or “ski.” Some officials refer to it as the Islamic Supreme Council of Iraq — ISCI, or “iskey.”    We were told that people just seem to be confused about what to call it.

Well, we know that Scrabble is not one of the more popular games behind White House doors.  Making up acronyms must be their favorite ‘idle time’  while other administration face Congressional questioning.  At least the ones not protected by his highness.  No one must be guilty of leaking truth.  Truth is bad!  Truth aids the enemy!  Loose lips may sink the Bush, Cheney, Rove pirate ship.   An old WWII acronym seems to apply to this whole gang of thieves,  F.U.B.A.R.    

Posted in acronyms, bigotry, Bush, Cheney, conspiracy, Corruption, Excuses, Executive Branch, executive privilege, Gangs, Humor, Hypocracy, Impeach, Reich, Rove | 1 Comment »

Immediate Release: Crawford Texas

Posted by nytexan on July 26, 2007

CRAWFORD, TX:
A tragic flood this morning destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush.

The flood began in the presidential bathroom where both of the books were kept.
Both books have been completely destroyed.

A presidential spokesman said the president was devastated as he had almost finished

coloring the second one.

The White House tried to call FEMA but there was no answer.

 

Posted in Bush, Crawford, FEMA, Humor, President | 18 Comments »

King George Sings The Same Tune Over And Over

Posted by bosskitty on June 17, 2007

Thanks to: Chairmen of the BoardGive Me Just A Little More Time : .

George Bush CHORUS:

CHORUS: Give me just a little more time
And our love will surely grow
Give me just a little more time
And our love will surely grow

1: Life’s too short to make a mistake
Let’s think of each other and hesitate
Young and impatient we may be
There’s no need to act foolishly
If we part our hearts won’t forget it
Years from now we’ll surely regret it

CHORUS: (repeat over and over – our boys keep dying and dying)

June 17: Petraeus hints Iraq “surge” may be needed longer

Gen. David H. Petraeus, the commander of U.S. forces in Iraq, said he does not expect the “surge” of 30,000 additional troops to Iraq to finish their job by September, a critical month when lawmakers expect a clear read on whether the larger troop presence is having an effect.

“Fox News” Host Chris Wallace asked Petraeus, “You surely don’t think the job would be done by the surge by September?”

“I do not, no,” Petraeus replied. “We have a lot of heavy lifting to do. The damage done by the sectarian violence in the fall and winter of 2006 and early 2007 … was substantial.”

Posted in Accountability, Afghanistan, Bush, Corruption, Humor, Iran, Iraq, King George, President, resonsibility, Sad, Soldiers, War, War Cost, War Crimes | Leave a Comment »

Mr.TB Asks Forgiveness As Dr. Death Set For Release …

Posted by bosskitty on June 1, 2007

Oh what a beautiful set of headlines – Doctor vs. Patient juxtaposition …

TB patient: ‘I hope they forgive me’

Fugitive TB patient asks for forgiveness

TB patient Andrew Speaker ‘sorry’ for exposure risks

TB patient Andrew Speaker can run but he cannot hide

Kevorkian to be released from prison

Jack Kevorkian will leave prison today

Jack Kevorkian’s release brings different reactions

Jack Kevorkian to be released today

 By the way …

Agent at Border, Aware, Let In Man With TB 

Who shall we release to deal with this guy?

 

Posted in "Dr Death", Disaster, Dr Jack Kevorkian, Freedom, Headlines, Homeland Security, Humor, infection, stupid, travelers, tuberculosis, XDR TB | Leave a Comment »

Republicans Showing Reason? – Oh My!

Posted by bosskitty on May 21, 2007

I have to give the Right Wing Blog “ToTheRight.Org“, credit for recognizing a threat and exposing it.

Sam Brownback Campaign Denies The Holocaust

When we first took U.S. Sen. Sam Brownback and his campaign blogger to task earlier this week, his supporters came back with a strange response about preaching and getting rid of guns. Their latest post shows Brownback should immediately withdraw from the race for the presidency, as Brownback coordinates with this Web site and allows it to campaign on his behalf as his main online presence.

 

The Brownback blog has now issued a long statement declaring Galileo and Albert Einstein to be vile Wiccans and that anyone who believes the universe does not revolve around the Earth is a “Witch Doctor.” Brownback’s quasi-official campaign blog goes on to cite its source for these ridiculous claims: an anti-semitic Web site that denies the Holocaust and alleges modern science is a centuries-old conspiracy by “Jewish mystics.”

Some highlights from Brownback’s favorite “science” Web site:

A few scholarly writings in the last three decades or so of the 20th century dared to challenge another profitable and heretofore untouchable sacred cow, namely, the sacrosanct Holocaust saga. (From an entry on Historical Revisionism)

Finklestein has stepped up to denounce the Holocaust Industry; Gabler has revealed Jewish control of Hollywood from the start; Koestler et al have revealed the Khazar ancestry of modern Jews; (From an entry on Red-shift in light, oddly enough)

The fact Brownback thinks it is good judgment to cite anti-semitic conspiracy theories to attempt to discredit a centuries-old scientific fact shows he would be better off running for president of Afghanistan. If we didn’t know better, we would think Brownback and his campaign staff were some sort of twisted parody of how extreme left-wingers view conservative Republicans; sadly that is not the case.

I am truly hopeful that whatever happens in 2008, this country will make it’s way back to the middle and actually work together. If all parties will reasonably police themselves and present workable candidates who must represent the whole diverse country instead of a specific faction comprising only a ‘fraction’ of the 300+ million Americans whose lives they will represent.

Update!

Please click Burton’s link for evolution vs creation Republican stats.

Posted in Brownback, creationism, Democrat, Education, Freedom, God, GOP, Humor, Israel, Legacy, Lord, News, Op-Ed, Politics, President, Religion, Republican, Theocracy, Vote | 7 Comments »

Creationists spend $27 Million to cripple children’s minds!

Posted by bosskitty on May 21, 2007

We must honor the millions of funda-mental-ists who contributed to the new Family Sized Creationist Museum. Their byline: PREPARE TO BELIEVE! Breaking news: Adam and Eve frolicked with the dinosaurs!

The Creation Museum, opening May 28, 2007, presents a “walk through history.” Designed by a former Universal Studios exhibit director, this state-of-the-art 60,000 square foot museum brings the pages of the Bible to life.

Oh my! I am flipping through the bible pages now to find the dinosaurs in the story of creation. What am I missing?

Thank you Laura Hornsby: Associated Press

The $27 million Creation Museum, a few miles south of Cincinnati, tells a biblical version of the Earth’s history, asserting that the planet is just a few thousand years old and man and the giant lizards once coexisted.

The educators say its exhibits, inspired by the Old Testament, are geared toward children but lack scientific evidence.

“When they try to confuse (kids) about what is science and what isn’t science, scientists have an obligation to speak out,” said Lawrence Krauss, an author and physics professor at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland.

Scientists say Earth is several billion years old, and that the first dinosaurs appeared around 200 million years ago, dying out well before the first human ancestors arose a few million years ago.

Well, the disneyland of truth has arrived. The alternative to centuries of truth seekers has hired a Marketing firm, Joseph David Advertising, who provides a unique presentation so “we can better learn where our guests are coming from.”

You may as well enjoy researching all the other versions of creation that existed before the scientific method was applied to the question, ‘where did we come from’. You might try the creationist “Fossil Park”. Don’t stop there, there are stories from every culture in the world. Lists: University of Georgia, Amsterdam 6th Grader course, Rutgers University. Then of course there’s Wikipedia.

These stories are all educational, but, they still do not trump science. Why do they want to cripple our children’s minds? Remember, three Republicans raised their hands to announce they believe in creationism! Read the posts on Republican candidate Brownback’s supporter blog, Blogs4BrownbackThey disclaim any official status with the campaign, but their posts are rather enlightening.

I am truly appalled and a little scared ….

Posted in creationism, debate, Education, Freedom, God, Humor, Legacy, Lord, Op-Ed, Religion, Republican, Science, Theocracy, Vote | 13 Comments »

Religious Groups Reap Federal Aid for Pet Projects

Posted by bosskitty on May 13, 2007

Thank you NY Times for another insight, By DIANA B. HENRIQUES and ANDREW W. LEHREN.

So, I am a religion, I hire lobbyists, I sneak Perks to Pricks, I am now ‘earmarked’ for a load of taxpayer money. Not a bad arrangement!

Posted in Congress, Democrat, God, Humor, Impeach, Legacy, News, Politics, Religion, Republican, Scandal, Senate, Vote | 4 Comments »

Bush No Plans To Remove Head From Current Position

Posted by nytexan on May 6, 2007

WASHINGTON, DC—Though critics have argued that he does not understand the futility of his current situation, President Bush announced today that he has no plans to remove his head from its current position.

I laughed so hard I just had to share. Link to read full article The Onion

Posted in Bush, Congress, Humor, National, News, Pelosi, War | 4 Comments »